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Star Wars: The Last Jedi

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If only! This film can be called entertaining, but certainly not “good.” Most of the time I was holding my hands out in laughing disbelief at the shockingly vulgar, transparent, and trite antics of the producers in this naked cash grab. 

The Last Jedi marks the maturity of “new Star Wars” into yet another never ending reboot franchise, joining the superhero genre, notably Spider-Man and Superman (just how many soft reboots have there been now?) as a narrative long since shorn of all creative innovation and now persisting only to fleece fans. Golly, Buttercup! Tell us something we don’t know! Well, I will. This may shock and surprise you. But I liked bits of this movie.

The Last Jedi is awful, but not complete in its awfulness. Despite the worst intentions of directors, producers, and franchise managers, some of the actors in this merchandising vehicle are actually entertaining and likable — even the ridiculous little puppet Yoda, an obvious and unsubtle throwback to “original Star Wars.” To borrow a line from E;R, you know when you start calling something “the original” there have already been too many copies. In this case, Mark Hamill’s and Adam Driver’s acting chops redeem this farce and provide a means for the viewer to relate to an otherwise completely foreign world. All the superficial aspects of original Star Wars are here, but none of them make a lick of sense and exist merely as sugar coating on the unpleasant poison pill of Jew-dominated and enforced cosmopolitanism. At this point, it’s hard to discern from the audience point of view what the Empire and Rebels are even squabbling about — until you disassociate back and remember all the non-white faces you inevitably passed on your way to the cinema.

Yes, it’s the same boring, reheated slop of the ultimate victims, the only victims that matter, the perfidious Jews and their Social Justice and non-white lackeys, painting themselves as downtrodden and oppressed even as they hang white male moviegoers by the ankles and shake the cash out their pockets. Reptile Queen Carrie Fisher in this movie plays the resistance “leader,” though all she does is swan around and enjoy everyone except the racially ambiguous Poe kowtowing to her. If she had managed to die before filming began, the death grip of the past around Star Wars‘ throat may have lessened, and we could have potentially enjoyed the Resistance leader being played by an actor capable of displaying human emotions. Alas, no such luck, and in one tacky, vomit-inducing scene, Fisher uses the dark magic of HollyWoo to fly through space and re-enter the airlock. Like the rest of the phony news brewed up by the international fakesters that produce this nonsense, it just doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. That comfy atmospheric pressure you’re enjoying that keeps your insides in prevents explosive decompression, and everything from your blood to saliva boils in the vacuum of space. No such luck for those who would enjoy Carrie suffering that fate. Like in Guardians of the Galaxy 2, space in The Last Jedi is just a place that’s kind of cold. No being sucked out the airlock here, it’s just like opening a window!

The narrative has been so beaten into the heads of white audiences by now that the film does not bother justifying why the Rebels (or Resistance, whatever, who cares) are good and the First Empire are bad. It just so happens that the Resistance has a painfully forced multicultural cast, so whites already know they are expected to root for them as the “good” guys. Every other shot features a non-white face, normally Asian or African to cater to the Eastern market and American blacks. The First Order is run by white aristocratic wombats in well ironed outfits. Message received for white audiences that white, well presented, and militarily powerful is bad, oppressive, and for making fun of (the First Order second in command is made a fool of by Rebel Pilot Poe) — and a ragtag bag of anarchists, genderless freaks, and brightly colored robot footballs are good. The Resistance is led by a purple haired cat-lady, no less; an obvious and cringeworthy sop to the deranged goofs in the blue-haired bonobo brigade that inhabit social networks and college campuses.

Emperor (“‘Supreme Leader”) Snoke, predictably due to be snuffed out by up and coming Kylo Ren, is a wincingly unsubtle anti-white caricature. Spindly, rotting, and a power-mad hybridization of Mr. Burns and Peter Capaldi’s Malcolm Tucker? Check. In the theater of international security, the evildoer dictators are all Arab, Asian, or African, but in the movie theater, the chief villain is always a white man capable of running a large organization. It’s almost like the people who make these films are pathologically afraid of white people being organized by someone who isn’t them.

The emo manchild set up in the Farce Awakens does some tough growing up when his ego is left in tatters by Snoke’s comment that he is a “child in a mask” and inferior to Vader. Kylo smashes his cool helmet up, which is kind of a shame, but despite having a big enough nose to play members of the Tribe, he is still ethnically English and quite handsome without it. He engages in Force-enabled telepathic FaceTime with Rey, who is an agitated brat with no gravitas whatsoever. Kylo post-tantrum is very serious and introspective, and his puppy eyes and long hair lends itself to his brooding masculinity. His voice is possibly altered with a modulator to make it slightly deeper and resonant.  Either way, whenever he’s talking through the FaceTime I could feel like I was watching Star Wars again, instead of watching a bunch of schoolchildren trying to make a playground production of Star Wars using pantomime costumes and Digimon figurines. The immersion is broken whenever the camera cuts back to Rey, who splutters he is a “monster,” an accusation that is never properly explained or substantiated. Kylo belongs in a Star Wars movie, but Rey belongs on Jerry Springer.

The same failure to generate any kind of dramatic tension occurs between Luke and Rey. Mark Hamill has clearly reached a point of blissful indifference to the destruction of the Star Wars franchise and is relishing every opportunity to be theatrical, expressive, full of life and whimsicality. By contrast, Rey’s entire character is simply a plot device around which other parts of the movie revolve, and Daisy Ridley is a wooden stand-in that brings nothing to the role.

On Luke’s desolate Jedi Island, I was deeply aware that I was watching Mark Hamill with a puppet-esque Yoda, “just like the original,” instead of being immersed in the unfolding plot. The directors have eschewed using a CGI Yoda of the type that appeared in the prequels dueling with Count Dooku; this naked attempt to remake the magic is semi-successful, both in film and as a fan lure. Yoda reminds Luke that his momentous decision to end the Jedi religion by burning the tree and sacred texts is irrelevant by beating him to the punch and lighting it up with a lightning strike — this Zen-zap reminding him to hold life with an open palm. At this point I was overjoyed — Yes! Burn all the Aleister Crowley books and Talmudic voodoo nonsense that perpetuates this fabricated faith! But sadly it was not to be as the texts are “rescued” (stolen?) by Ma-Rey Sue.

Kylo decides to off Snoke and take his rightful place as Supreme Leader, and in a painfully predictable moment that recalls Vader asking Luke to join him, generously offers Rey an equal standing in leadership of the First Order. He implores her to “Let it all die — the Jedi, the Sith, all of it.” Good God, I thought, how sensible! Just what is this switched on and savvy young man doing in this movie?! Of course, she refuses, which dooms her to perpetual immaturity and being the unwitting servant of the malicious cat-ladies. Sad, really — I almost got to care about this silly girl and her emotional outbursts. She makes her good escape to assist the Resistance, who at this point are just outright anarchists, using the Aluminium Falcon.

Younger, Hillary Clinton fanboys and girls and Bernbots may be happy that the Falcon is now truly the Millennial’s Falcon — it ends the movie full of diversity, Pokemon and crystalline foxes released from an underground vault. Chewie even goes vegetarian, something I did not expect but wholeheartedly approve of. As this is happening, Kylo is having another temper tantrum and attempting to wipe Mark Hamill out of the franchise using blaster power and light-saber dueling — but to no avail, as Mark is actually using Jedi astral projection. In exchange for agreeing to star in the film, he is given a graceful exit from this mortal plane, the camera panning adoringly over his well cultivated wrinkles and Jedi beard. No doubt we will see him next illuminated with the alluring blue glow of Jedi masters used to bait the goyim.

The one thing I haven’t covered is Finn’s attempt at deserting, where he meets an uncharismatic and slightly tubby Vietnamese Rebel girl. He promptly complains that he dindu nuffin and that they need to go on a wild goose chase to save the Lizard Queen by obtaining the Macguffin. It’s all garbage and fills a full third of the film, and exists solely to give these token characters something to do.

The movie ends with a young white boy being lectured about the Jedi by a negro child speaking in some sub-Saharan tongue. After being sufficiently bamboozled, he goes out to look up at the stars and sees a Rebel ship shooting across the sky, and pledges his undying allegiance to the coalition of dindus, blasians, and reptiles. And that’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi: a sickening and sad attempt to hoodwink whites into worshipping a dead Jewess and their own racial displacement, with enough good actors, set design, and digital foxes added in to make becoming a purple-haired antifa seem superficially appealing.

This time, at least, no Stormtrooper memes will come of it. With the passing of Hans Solo and now Skywalker, maybe the next turkey will pass into box office oblivion.

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17 Comments

  1. Gnome Chompsky
    Posted December 27, 2017 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    BTW, my previous conment was in error, .I watched up to Revenge of the Sith at cinemas, .and the animated shorts of the Clone Wars.

    No matter how much fans are complaining about Chritesen or Jar Jar, I have always seen Nat Portlyman, or whatever her real name is (her now husband’s name is millipede, or cognate of that), is the biggest problem with the prequel series. By the middle of it, she was looking like a borderline-ugly member of her tribe.

    I never read an MSM article that was reflecting that clear fact.

    I never watched (and never want to watch) the crappy ballet movie, but she was a liar about that, too. She said she did the dancing scenes herself, turns out a shiksa did them for her.
    Again, nothing to see here, move along.

    Talk about wooden. It made her name, but she is never stopping complaining about it.

  2. Gnome Chompsky
    Posted December 26, 2017 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    Please excuse my change of user name.

    I will stay with the new one.

    As far as vacuum exposure, I read an article many (over ten ) years ago, with contributions from NASA people, stating that the Dave Bowman scene in 2001 was actually survivable, at the pace depicted (and what a .great scene) . It was also recounted in a more recent anniversary iissue of CineFX.That has interested me since.

    Doubt that is true of the fantasy of Leia Orgazma’s space walk.

    I haven’t seen any of the Star Wars films since Attack of the Clones.

    May counting myself lucky in that.

    … but even The Phantom Menace, not too bad at times, sure, too much emphasis on video game sales, but it always seemed fitting to me that young Anakin, doomed to be an adult super bad man, was a very talented brat.

    It seemed to suit the narrative.

    Why do people hate Jar Jar so much when the same actor was doing much the same role in The Fifth Element?

  3. Dr. Doom
    Posted December 24, 2017 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    Yes this beez sad and sheeit. A film series based on toys like Ewoks and hating White Men who dress like nazis and talk like British Imperialists going diverse and losing money seems so sad, for everybody but me. I always LOVED the Empire. Ben Kenobi turned out to be a crazy old wizard after all. First Order, Chancellor becomes Emperor, and Giant Technological terrors. Behold the crazy living in the “mind” of our enemies. Luke fought for Jedi Muppets and died old and alone. There’s a message there. Just not the one our enemies want you to see and understand.

    • Captain John Charity Spring MA
      Posted December 25, 2017 at 8:27 am | Permalink

      The Darkside…why not?

  4. Captain John Charity Spring MA
    Posted December 24, 2017 at 4:35 am | Permalink

    The problem is that American audiences initially identified THE GOOD with the rebellion.

    Grand Moff Tarkin did nothing wrong.

    Senator Palpatine did nothing wrong.

    Vader was attacked by his mentor.

    The rebellion was and is evil.

    See?

  5. Proofreader
    Posted December 23, 2017 at 7:33 pm | Permalink

    “In the theater of international security, the evildoer dictators are all Arab, Asian, or African, but in the movie theater, the chief villain is always a white man capable of running a large organization. It’s almost like the people who make these films are pathologically afraid of white people being organized by someone who isn’t them.” In this film, the Man is keeping the galaxy down, and the Rebels are sticking it to him.

  6. dolph
    Posted December 23, 2017 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    Basically what they are doing is using Star Wars, as money making franchise with loyal fanbase, but killing it at the same time. There is clearly no overarching story or theme to these sequels.

    We are analyzing something that has no real resonance in the world anymore (most Hollywood movies these days do not). Counter currents needs to recognize this. You claim you can beat them on this turf, but you cannot.

    It’s like saying you can go to the federal government and implement a new money system. Not going to happen. So much effort into Trump and what does he do? Cut taxes for corporations.

    To paraphrase Kylo Ren, you guys are nostalgically “holding on” to movies, myths, stories they pumped into you whie you were kids, and to the American system as if they can reformed from within to serve the white American race and not mammon. This is not possible. Money beat race long ago and now has an agenda and logic of its own which will be played out to the bitter end.

    • K
      Posted December 23, 2017 at 11:17 pm | Permalink

      I disagree whole heartedly. I was first exposed to counter currents from Greg’s review of Angry birds. Even if they cannot be totally beaten, reviews like these really help to bring people in and these new perspectives, you can’t unsee. Now, I can’t help, but seeing all the subversive qualities in most tv and films. Like a movie, I normally would have really enjoyed before becoming red pilled is Logan, but when I saw that trash, I couldn’t help seeing numinous black family. The white male hero is self-hating and weak. He only becomes good and strong again when he is fighting on behalf of these minorities. (Fucking hell, just thinking of it makes me want to vomit) and of course, every villain is white.

      • Captain John Charity Spring MA
        Posted December 24, 2017 at 4:36 am | Permalink

        Waugh’s Sword of Honour is basically the same narrative arch.

        The Cuckold as Hero.

        • K
          Posted December 25, 2017 at 6:11 am | Permalink

          @Captain and of course, only if the cuckold is white.

      • Scott the Strategeri
        Posted December 24, 2017 at 6:54 pm | Permalink

        Yes, my friend, NOW you’ve become red-pilled. I shun Hymieweird productions not out of self-control, but because I am legitimately disgusted by them.

        However, I will see “Star Wars” (albeit ONLY for free), just because I grew up w/ it and I want to see the anti-whiteness. So I’m going to counter-signal all of you. STAR WARS 8 IS A FANTASTIC MOVIE!!! In the original triology, the Rebellion was run mostly by whites and white-appearing Jews like Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher. They won. They defeated the GALACTIC Empire. Now it’s run by purple-haired cat ladies and non-whites, and in two films they’ve lost everything and there are only about a dozen survivors in La Resistance. They’re completely incompetent and squandered the earlier victory of the white males. Isn’t that our message? 🙂

        • K
          Posted December 25, 2017 at 6:09 am | Permalink

          yea, pretty much hahaha. I think their true feelings about minorities unintentionally came out.

        • Captain John Charity Spring MA
          Posted December 25, 2017 at 8:40 am | Permalink

          This of course is true. The Nazis can’t stop winning in this movie.

          • Scott the Strategeri
            Posted December 25, 2017 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

            I am NOT a Nazi. I am a Jeffersonian-Jacksonian Democrat, which is an explicitly pro-white ideology. Now having said that, when I want to mess w/ people, I say, “People in my generation don’t care about issues. We have rejected the very CONCEPT of ‘values and principles’ because, if we don’t exist, then who cares? SURVIVAL IS THE ONLY ISSUE. So at this point, I’d even vote for a socialist, so long as he was a nationalist.” The liberal will smile at me for a minute… until they finish processing what I just said! lol

    • Ironsides
      Posted December 24, 2017 at 4:31 am | Permalink

      @Dolph Your whole screed can be summarized as “they’re just too strong, goyim, don’t even try, just give up and let whatever happens happen, bow your head in submission and keep your mouth shut and accept your fate!”

      You’re either a shill, or a revolting defeatist. GTFO.

    • Buttercup
      Posted December 24, 2017 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

      I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy my review. I am not a major Star Wars fan, I simply like writing what I see in pop culture.

      If you sincerely believe that race has lost to money, then you are either here because you want to be proven wrong, or are working for the opposition. I hope it is the former and realise as I did that contributing is more rewarding than complaining.

      Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

      • Scott the Strategeri
        Posted December 25, 2017 at 6:44 pm | Permalink

        I enjoyed your review. 🙂 So do MANY others who don’t bother to post comments. Please don’t be discouraged by one critic.

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